The ruler of the universe wasn’t happy with Large Slow One. She was cold, clumps of hair were sitting heavily in her stomach, and nothing moved in an enticing manner. She blamed Large Slow One for all of this. She also blamed him for hiding a portion of her demesne from her, but that didn’t bother her at the moment. It had been a while since he had ventured beyond the swinging wooden barrier and returned cloaked in strange smells. Her moods were fickle, and what had driven her to rage hours ago was now practically forgotten.

Large Slow One just stood there, staring at the flickering box and pawing at the grid of plastic in front of it. It was a simple game, for a simple mind, but it kept Large Slow One entranced for hours every day. He was so unobservant that he didn’t even notice the much more valuable box just to the left. This one was visually dull, but it radiated enough heat to warm even the mostly hairless Large One. It beckoned with a steady purring sound, but he failed to notice. His full attention remained riveted to the mindless game before him.

The ruler of the universe briefly considered jumping to the platform upon which these games rested, and from there to the warm box. It was the perfect temperature and nearly the perfect size to sit upon. Yet, she knew from experience such a move wouldn’t end well. She’d tried before, and always she’d drawn the attention of Large Slow One. As soon as she landed upon her “warm thing for sitting”, Large Slow One suddenly noticed and wanted it for himself.

The large one was strong and powerful for all his clumsiness, and he could easily sweep her aside and send her tumbling to the tile floor. He would instantly forget the box afterward of course, turning straight back to his game and never once actually attempting to sit upon it. Such was the simplicity of his mind, that he only wanted a thing when she had it.

Large One generated a fair degree of heat himself though, enough to warm her perhaps. His shoulders were also quite far from the ground when he stood before the flickering box like this. She had a hunch that if she could get somewhere high, the discomfort in her stomach would ease. She just knew the ground was somehow causing it.

The ruler of the universe jumped onto Large Slow One’s back, aiming for the space right between his shoulder blades as she’d done so many times before. This time he shrugged at the worst possible moment however, causing most of her claws to miss finding purchase. Only a single talon sank into his flesh and supported her entire body.

It was the large one’s fault of course. If he hadn’t moved without her permission, the jump would have gone flawlessly. But he had thrown her off course, and now he shrieked and jerked as though this state of affairs were somehow surprising to him.

The ruler of the universe hung painfully while Large Slow One contorted in a series of spasms that nearly dislodged her completely. For once in his stupid brutish life he moved with speed, almost as though he were willfully attempting to throw her off. That was giving him too much credit of course. He was barely alive, let alone capable of real thought. At best, he was still no more intelligent than the growling transparent creature that filled itself with black liquid every morning.

Large Slow One flailed his arms behind his back, his clumsy digits pinching at her fur. He was reaching for her. This was unacceptable, something she would not allow. She retracted her talon and dropped to the floor. She did so because the strain was making her uncomfortable, not because she felt any fear for Large Slow One, or any guilt for agitating him so.

Large Slow One turned and glared at her with his stupid vacant eyes, pretending he were more than mere furniture in this universe. Then he stepped past her and walked towards the large table in the center of the room.

Too late, the ruler of the universe realized her large subject’s intentions. He’d gone straight for his bladder!

Unlike the ruler of the universe and the other feline that shared this space with her, Large Slow One was somehow broken into many pieces. He couldn’t perform the most basic bodily functions without retrieving the necessary organs first. In order to pee, he needed to grasp one of the bladders he absentmindedly left scattered about the universe.

His urine was mostly water, with just a trace odor of plastic, a thoroughly unhealthy mix. The ruler of the universe sometimes wondered how such a sickly creature failed to die. That sickly creature gripped his bladder in both fore paws, spun, and released a blast in her direction. He had actually tried to pee on her! This could not go unpunished.

The ruler of the universe jumped onto a chair filled with loose sheets of paper. She liked the way the material crinkled beneath her weight and gave just the right amount of resistance before surrendering to her probing claws, but those weren’t the reasons the sought it. No, she went for the paper because she knew Large Slow One also liked to play with it. His scent was nearly as heavy here as it was on the plastic keys before the flickering box.

The ruler of the universe gave a swift kick to send the papers flying off the chair and onto the floor behind her. Then she began to urinate on the scattered pile, forever marking these toys as hers.

Large Slow One rushed towards her menacingly, but his primitive brain was incapable of rapidly processing changes to his environment. His awkward hind feet, sheathed in a type of fur that allowed his toes no traction, trod directly upon his own puddle of urine.

The large one’s legs slid out from under him and he crashed onto his back. Stunned, the breath knocked from his lungs, he lay nearly motionless. Only the pulsing of his heart revealed that his frail body yet lived.

The ruler of the universe calmly walked to the side of the large one’s face and dragged her claws across his cheek. Devoid of protective fur, the weak skin of his face parted and blood welled up just beneath his eye.

The ruler of the universe walked away as calmly as she had approached. She was no longer cold, her stomach no longer pained her, and a slight breeze caused several fallen papers to flutter in an enticing manner. Large Slow One and his many transgressions were forgiven and forgotten.